Taking chances

Today is the first day of training for my new job. Actually, my first job ever.. Like ever.. technically this is the first job that I’m getting paid for. Today in training i hope that all of my skills will show in training. I understand training is about learning but.. who doesn’t want to impress on the first day on the job?  

The point of this article(as seen from the title) is about taking chances. I took a chance to fill out an application to be considered for a job. Some will consider this to simply be another task in the world that we live in. However for me this is really huge! I’ve dealt with anxiety for awhile now. For anyone who has it, you can understand that anxiety can happen at anytime. Any place..

 the thought of thinking about anxiety can give you anxiety. I used to be afraid to apply for jobs honestly. I was afraid I wouldn’t know what to do if something bad happened.”what if the place got robbed”, if several customers approached  me at one time and I just froze.” Things like this kept me from applying. (The scenarios are a little bit extreme.. but you get the point.

 That is still the very reason I prefer to never become a cashier if I can help it.) Other jobs I simply would just come to the conclusion I wasn’t good enough. I remember starting college and having to catch two buses to get there. I’ve ridden the bus several times with my mom , it used to be a thing I enjoyed so much as a kid, however I had even gotten to the point I was afraid to ride the bus alone.

 I was scared I wouldn’t get off on the right stop, or I would forget to bring my money, lose my bus pass,etc. The scenarios played out in my mind constantly as I waited for the bus .Trying to comfort myself, I recited the directions my mom had given me and I recounted the bus fare I needed after safely putting the amount back in my pocket, only to repeat the same action two seconds later. As the bus got closer, the more my palms began to sweat. I had even gotten to the point of leaving the bus stop and just going home. I was determined, determined to make a change in my life by going to college and I did. 

So far i have attended college for about a year. I still have anxiety at times while riding the bus, but the thing that keeps me going, is knowing that if I would’ve never rode the bus , I would’ve never gone to school, I would’ve never met the friends that i have. I never would’ve made the grades that I did.(some I could’ve went with out..)But overall I never would’ve saw my true potential. 

This semester I couldn’t attend school, which caused me to feel so Many negative thoughts and feelings. I refuse to let the time I am waiting to attend school next semester to go to waste. I’ve created a few small goals that I’ve plan to reach, one of them was to find a job. Despite my fear of being hired, I applied , I received an interview and now I’m in training. 

Another is to write. I’ve been writing for as long as i can remember. My goal is to share some of my work. And I have through sites like wattpad , Instagram, Twitter and of course WordPress 😉 I love writing more than anything, I was always afraid that I wouldn’t have good enough material to for people to be interested in or I always felt as if no one would care about it. However, I’ve started posting and I’m surprised at the feedback and the likes.  

Today is my attempt at conquering a new challenge :writing a blog. I’m not sure how many times I’ve downloaded this very app to turn around and delete only to re download. If something stays on your mind long enough then maybe you should just go for it, and well.. here I am, Taking a chance. As in the words of pitbull, I’m gonna let it ride. And see how far this blogging thing takes me . If you took the time to read this far thank you💖

2 comments

  1. Congratulations on leaving your comfort zone. I was the same and then a couple of weeks ago I just did it. It makes me feel better to write my thoughts and feelings on here. I can relate to what you are saying so I am following you so I can read more. Welcome and good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

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